I heard good news today. My second son, whom we had with us a decade ago, was baptized. This son was born not knowing love. His first months were spent in insecurity. Shortly before he arrived with us he was pronounced dead after a severe beating. Needless to say God had other plans. This pronouncement was made prematurely and while his injuries were severe, God rescued him from this fate. Not without consequence though. For months afterwards he had lost his ability to eat, to suck, to interact. He came to us on a feeding tube from the hospital in Denver. We were new parents ourselves and our daughter who was nearly this boys age hadn’t prepared us for what was to come. Long nights of fearful crying. Late night trips to the emergency room to replace the feeding tube. Addressing our own heart’s condition when weariness and frustration set in. We did not love perfectly. We often second guessed what we had been asked to do. We had no choice, but to depend on God and His strength. It was the first season together in which we bit off more than we could chew. As that first year progressed, milestones were met. Health was grown, and this boy regained his ability to eat and to function and even grew in the joy and curiosity of a toddling little one. In the end, his birth mother saw his progress and began to think again about parenting. While she may have missed her child, the gravity of his condition was not enough to break off her relationship with the boyfriend that had beaten the boy. It was with frustrated, heavy hearts that this boy was back to his mother.
Wondering why. Why had we spent so many sleepless nights and frustrating moments in care of this son, only to surrender him back to danger. God was still in control, even if we did not see it. Before long, he was removed again and this time permanently. He was given the chance at adoption. Through a friend of a friend we had heard this news and it brought joy. Nearly 10 years later, here we are, and it brings joy knowing and seeing that this life that started in misery now has decided to give his heart to the Healer. Being baptized in water to show this change in his heart.
There are times in life when God asks us to do hard things. Things that make us sweat, cry, scream, and maybe cause us to question. He may show us why He is asking this of us. He may withhold it. We may not see the full picture of His plan until we find ourselves by His side in heaven. It is in His good character that we place our faith. We are not His peers to understand his plan. We are not the source of the strength we need. We simply offer the smallest obedient act that He takes and grows to change nations. When we discover this truth, our hearts then cannot help, but invest more. In His goodness He offers us enough. He does not simply expect a lifetime of blind faith. He gives gifts of encouragement along the way. Moments where we see the fruit of our obedience, even though our obedience is not always perfect.
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